Article written by Cara Suttner

As a Lactation Consultant, I am privileged  to meet lots of new parents and their babies, most often very early on in their journey together. These mothers are passionately in love with their new bundles. Partners stand crazily in awe of these new life forms and the miracle of their sustenance. Once the ice has broken and we have established what we want to achieve in our sessions, the inevitable million-dollar question always surfaces… Why is breastfeeding so hard?

Why is breastfeeding so hard?

Shouldn’t it be a natural process for both mum and baby? If it was so hard wouldn’t humanity have died out thousands of years ago? It doesn’t make sense… and why did NO ONE tell me? 

Unfortunately, these days a lot of us are living our lives in relative isolation (and not just due to COVID). Not so long ago, we were living in multi-generational homes. As little girls, we watched our mothers, sisters and aunties mothering and breastfeeding their babies. We attended to them, helped them get into comfortable positions, and ensured they were well supported. By the time it was our turn it was pretty much second nature. And if it wasn’t, we had the “village” showering us with invaluable love and care. 

What help do new parents get nowadays?

Whether you ask for it or not, new mothers are bombarded with advice from health professionals, TikTok influencers, mothers groups and the check-out person at Coles. These voices while almost definitely are well meaning, can be very noisy. They are often inconsistent and even conflicting pieces of advice, which makes you second, third and fourth guess yourself. Finally, when we have quiet moments to ourselves, we connect in with the most superior knowledge source of all. Google. It’s enough to make anyone go crazy. Add a dash of hormones, some guilt and a sprinkle of sleep deprivation and it’s a recipe for disaster.

So while this is not the only reason breast feeding is hard, I think this bombardment of “rules” can often set new parents up for failure. It leads them to stop believing that they themselves are actually the experts in their babies. It may not feel like it at the start. But that is what starts are for. Learning. You might think your 1 week only is gassy, so your try patting her against your chest for 45 minutes, only to realise she just wanted a bit more food from the other breast. You’ll remember that cry for next time. 

Of course, the numerous consultations, books and hotlines you can call all have their place. They are a great source of education. But they should not take over your own intuition and gut feelings. If it absolutely kills you to wake your baby up because it is “time to feed”, but they only just went down one and a half hours ago after a cluster feed lasting forever, then don’t do it! If it supports your mental health to have a routine to follow in the daytime hours, then do it! 

So, welcome to parenthood, the guidance will come in thick and fast. Be kind to yourself and learn to filter it. Take on what makes sense to you, and if it works for you and your bub, hold on to it like gold. Let these people be part of your village. But if it causes confusion or doesn’t feel right, nod and smile, and let it go. 

The breastfeeding journey will often be met with a few hurdles. Meaningful, life changing events often are. Remember, it's your unique journey and  blanket rules are usually unhelpful. Be particular with who you let in and make sure it rings true to you - the expert. 

As a Lactation Consultant, I am privileged  to meet lots of new parents and their babies, most often very early on in their journey together. These mothers are passionately in love with their new bundles. Partners stand crazily in awe of these new life forms and the miracle of their sustenance. Once the ice has broken and we have established what we want to achieve in our sessions, the inevitable million-dollar question always surfaces… Why is breastfeeding so hard?

Cara Suttner

I grew up and still live in Bondi with my husband and six young children.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a desire to be around newborns and their families. When I graduated as a registered nurse in 2005, I was lucky enough to pursue this love, and worked with precious neonates and their loved ones in the special care nursery at the Royal Hospital For Women in Randwick.

When I started to have my own children, I became more in awe of the mother baby relationship. I strongly believe that mums know their babies best, and often societal, medical or other outside pressures challenge this, leading mothers to questions their instincts. Therefore I am passionate about educating and helping women in their role as mums. Empowering them to care for their baby the way they feel is best.

I am a certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and consult with mums in hospital post delivery, in my rooms in Bondi Beach, or in the comfort of their own homes.

I am registered with the major private health funds, so rebates are often available.